Well this nails it: clearly, this “Sandy” is a racist, Republican storm. Unable to disenfranchise minorities, the poor, and the elderly by enacting voter identification laws in time for the election, those dastardly Republicans turned to ginning up a so-called “super-storm” in the hope not only of preventing those voters from getting to the polls so they could vote for Barky and other Democrats, but with any luck at all, the Republican-generated Death-Storm may kill substantial numbers of them; forcing Democrats to scramble to get new ballots in from the recently deceased.
And the storm will take its time leaving. The weather may not start clearing in the mid-Atlantic until the day after Halloween and Nov. 2 in the upper Northeast, Cisco said.
“It’s almost a weeklong, five-day, six-day event,” he said from a NOAA forecast center in College Park, Md. “It’s going to be a widespread, serious storm.”
It is likely to hit during a full moon, when tides are near their highest, increasing the risk of coastal flooding. And because many trees still have their leaves, they are more likely to topple in the event of wind and snow, meaning there could be widespread power outages lasting to Election Day.
The logistical issues are formidable: Democrats may be forced to huddle on rooftops with their “Please Help!” signs for hours, and once rescued, they may be unable to reach those in need of pre-filled ballots in a timely manner. This could ultimately be far worse than the “hanging chads” tantrums thrown in Florida a few years ago; Republicans are more likely to be prepared for harsh conditions, due to their years of experience on the receiving end of media denigration. Moreover, they tend to be significantly less reliant upon government handouts.
Potentially working in Democrats’ favor, however, is the fact that high tides are anticipated to be exacerbated by their conjunction with the full moon, which has been shown to elevate water levels. Experience has demonstrated that under such conditions, caskets and even burial vaults may be expelled from the ground and can float for miles. If Democrats can act quickly enough to acquire a number of kayaks, they may be able to steer these voters to a nearby precinct.